I swung back in my chair, interlocking my fingers behind my head and gazing up at the ceiling.
‘Someone explain to me what this company is missing,’ I asked of the packed boardroom, keenly aware of how enraptured they were – had to be – as I spoke. ‘Anyone?’
‘Uh… quarterly profits have dipped, slightly,’ my bloated CFO blabbered from beside me. ‘But nothing to be concerned about. More of a fluctuation than a trend.’
‘Was that what I asked?’ I frowned. ‘I could have sworn I asked what this company was missing, not what the status of our quarterly profits was. No?’
I tried not to smile as every single man at the table gulped in fright.
‘Well?’
Some more nervous chattering echoed around the room.
‘Brand recognition,’ a new voice called out.
I raised an eyebrow, intrigued, and un-swung my chair.
‘Who said that?’
A man, younger than everyone around him by a solid decade, raised a confident hand.
‘Go on,’ I gestured. He nodded in return.
‘We need to find the best 2D animation company to hire. Near me, where I’m from, that isn’t cheap – but it’ll be worth it just in brand awareness alone.’
The rest of the room shifted uncomfortably, a general air of who is this guy? bubbling through the atmosphere. I allowed a small smirk to slip its way onto my face.
‘And where is that?’ I asked.
‘Sir?’ the man frowned.
‘Where you’re from,’ I went on. ‘Tell me – where is that?’
He smiled politely, clearly not comfortable with the question. Fascinating, I noted, filing that bit of information away for later use.
‘Melbourne,’ he said, eventually. ‘I used to work closely with some of the best video production companies in Melbourne. It’s a tight field – they know their stuff.’
I nodded, intrigued.
‘And you think this could help us?’
‘I think it’s actively hurting us not to try,’ he said quickly, the swagger returning.
I burst out laughing and gestured for my assistant.
‘Get this man whatever he asks for… he has one month to change my mind.’
As some of you may be aware, there has been some upheaval here in our soap company. What started out as a team of young girls who were eager to work together and create something they love, had turned into a battle of ego. It has been a difficult time and I have found myself caught in the middle of many discussions. After ten years of operating a certain way, we came to the conclusion that we needed an update. Unfortunately, this update is what started tearing the group apart. 
I had the best date. We had a great conversation and I was very attracted to her. She mentioned that she found me attractive too. I really gussied myself up before this date. I got a fresh new haircut and wore my best clothes – freshly ironed clothes might I add! I really did put my best foot forward. 
You know what? There are some real nasty people out there but I don’t think anyone is as nasty as this one workmate. He’s got a higher up job than me and I can tell he thinks he’s so much better than I am, simply by the way he speaks to me. He makes all these quick jabs about how I work in the mailroom and look like ‘the lights are on but nobody’s home’. It’s a bit rich coming from a guy who has ears that could probably fly him to another country. 
‘Have you checked it?’
I went willingly, with the policeman who’d been chasing me for the better part of my adult life. The cuffs went on, the van doors opened, and the sirens seared their red-and-blue into my eyes.