Space Tinting?

Have you ever been going about your business, trying to make your way in the world like a normal person, when suddenly your life gets flipped on its head? Well, I have. In a huge way, too. It was late on a Friday afternoon, and I was getting ready to wrap up a long day of window tinting. I’d head to the pub with my mates, get a nice cold drink and a parma to celebrate the end of another week.

That was when the spaceship showed up. It was a strange blue vehicle that almost looked like an iron standing upright as it flew through the sky. The ship bore a name that I’m pretty sure I’m not allowed to say here. Anyway, this odd spacecraft landed before me, and out stepped a man in blue and silver armour. It was very fancy and looked extremely expensive. I bet not even a powerful plasma sword could cut through that stuff.

“Mr Alfred,” said the armoured man. “I have searched across the galaxy for the greatest window tinter to ever live. My quest has brought me to you. Supreme Chancellor Palantine wishes for you to be his personal window tinter, giving him the privacy he needs as he leads the Republic to a new era of peace and prosperity. They say that you offer the best window tinting services near Melbourne. Is this true?”

“Supreme Chancellor?” I stammered. “Republic? Galaxy? You mean an alien overlord wants my window tinting services?”

“Just answer the question,” said the man. “Are you the greatest window tinter I’m going to find or not?”

I gulped. “I suppose I am. I have the most five-star reviews out of any window tinter I know.”

“Excellent, you’ll be coming with me, then.”

Using his jetpack, the intergalactic traveller sprung forward, grabbing me by the underarms. He hauled me over to his spaceship without even asking if I wanted to go. So, I guess I’ve technically been kidnapped by aliens, which is a bit of a twist I wasn’t expecting in my life. Anyway, how has your day been?

– Charlie Alfred