The Pool Bar

You know what one of my favourite things in the world is? Drinking. And you know what one of my favourite things to do while drinking is? Play pool. See, the thing about Australia is they just don’t know how to have a good pool bar. You go to them and they’re empty and devoid of any character. Everybody in them looks miserable. I want to show them a good time, but they just don’t care about pool.

That’s why I’ve decided to open my own pool bar. It’s going to be very popular since I’m going to advertise it well. The first step in this process is ensuring I can acquire enough pool tables. I’ve been following a number of groups and have found only one pool table for sale. Melbourne is such a big place that I would have expected a lot more second-hand pool tables to be on sale, however, I guess people who own pool tables want to hang on to them. If my plan to buy second-hand isn’t working, then my only option is to visit a proper store and buy them there. I want to visit my local sporting goods store. They are quite well-stocked, however, I haven’t been there in a while so I can’t remember how many pool tables they have or whether they are good quality. All I remember is that they had a lot of darts and even a section where you could buy an entire bowling alley. That was certainly tempting, however, it’s never been my dream to open a bowling store.

Pool has always been my passion, and I know that with the right marketing and the right enthusiasm behind it, I can convince others to make it their hobby, too. Once I have acquired the pool tables, my next step is to find a location for the bar that is big enough to fit all the pool tables in. I also need enough space for the bar itself, since people won’t come to the bar unless there are drinks. However, once they have been drinking and have tried pool, they will never want to stop playing.

Pool Table Conundrum

Jack scratched his head and sat back from the computer monitor with a sigh.

‘What’s got you so contemplative?’ his wife asked with a smirk, flicking the light on in the study as she walked in. She handed Jack a mug of coffee, as he blinked to get his eyes to adjust to the harsh bulb.

‘I’m trying to decide between these two,’ he said, pointing at an online ad for a pool table for sale and a different tab with a treadmill. ‘I should probably buy the treadmill, shouldn’t I?’

‘Well…’ his wife said, glancing around the room for a chance to change the subject. ‘Oh, is that, uh… wall new?’

‘Fine,’ he sighed, moving the mouse over to the fitness side of the screen. ‘But I still think we should get a pool table.’

‘Why?’ she asked, clasping her own warm mug. ‘I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you play pool.’

‘Really?’ Jack said, turning around, surprised. ‘Oh, yeah, I used to love playing pool. My dad had a table when we were growing up. He used to make us play for hours every Sunday – his version of church, he used to say.’

Jack laughed at the memory. His wife sighed.

‘Oh, get the pool table then,’ she relented. ‘If it’ll make you happy, why not?’

‘Really?’ he asked again.

‘You gonna keep saying that?’

‘I thought you’d want me to get fit, and healthy and… all that,’ Jack frowned. ‘But now you just want me to be happy?’

‘You don’t have to sound so suspicious,’ she laughed, standing up and kissing him on the forehead. ‘We’ll find some cheap fitness equipment for sale in Australia soon enough – after New Year’s, when people realise they actually can’t be bothered sticking to their resolutions.’

‘And until then…’

‘Until then,’ she nodded. ‘You can start going back to church.’

He looked up at her with a smile – and very quickly spun around to hit buy on the pool table.